Park
by odalys-ortiz
Summary: Joss is finally able to live her life after bringing down HR. However she questions whether or not she deserves it all when she's done nothing but bad things to accomplish her goal. Maybe her vigilante will be able to change her mind. A/U since Joss survives and Careese of course.


Disclaimer: Doesn't belong to me. If it did, I would make sure to actually listen to the audience instead of just having them stroke my ego.

 _Pre A/N: So yup, this is another prompt story. I wanted to thanks SWWoman for once again betaing this. I couldn't help but facepalm at one obvious mistake I made. Anyway, enjoy:D_

 _Prompt: I almost lost you_

* * *

Park

Joss Carter was not one to take strolls in the park, especially in the middle of the night. However, that's exactly where she found herself. After hours of trying to get some sleep, she tried to think of some way to burn off her excess energy. Normally said energy would go into taking care of Taylor, but he was staying at his father's this weekend. That's when she decided to take the trip to Central Park.

Joss had arrived about a half an hour before and she found herself making her third round on the concrete path. She was nervous for tomorrow. It was a long time coming but she was finally going to go back to work. For her efforts in the HR takedown, Joss was being promoted to Captain.

These last 3 months had seen her recovering from the gunshot wound to the chest that nearly took her life. It was a miracle that Simmons's bullets missed her arteries by a mere centimeter. While Joss was in the hospital recuperating, she had gotten word that Lionel arrested Simmons before he could leave the country.

Joss smiled to herself as she passed the fountain. To the media and their co-workers, it seemed like they had done the impossible singlehandedly which was far from the truth. In reality, they had help from some vigilantes that had become close friends.

It was dumb of Joss to think that she could have taken down HR on her own but she wanted to keep anyone she cared about out of the line of fire. That night when everything went down had reinforced that fear. Lionel had been kidnapped and tortured, but despite all the apologies and attempts to make it up to him, he just smiled and let her buy him lunch as compensation. Lionel loved Joss as a partner and friend so he was just grateful that she made it out of it all alive.

Another man that had been in a terrible predicament but refused to leave her side was John. Even though there was a bounty on his head that drew unwanted attention from every criminal in New York, he refused to go anywhere until she was safe. Or at least that's what she thought until he tricked her so he could draw HR away from her and Quinn. It hurt that he was so willing to put other people's lives over his own. That night was different though. There had been a shift in their relationship. It hasn't just been the heat of moment or he wouldn't have said what he did outside of the precinct. Joss knew that it was hard for him to find the right words to tell her what he was feeling.

The shooting put a pause on what might have happened that night and instead they sort of returned to their previous working relationship. Joss thought "sort of" because she noticed John looking at her differently when he visited her. It was like he was seeing her for the first time and couldn't stop throwing small glances her way. His eyes seemed softer and his touches lighter when he helped her prepare food for dinner one night.

Rounding a corner near a group of trees, Joss stopped when she felt the presence of someone nearby and knew exactly who it was. "Really John, shouldn't you be at home resting or causing trouble for a criminal somewhere?" She asked.

On cue, her vigilante stepped out from behind the trees, his hands inside his thick coat's pockets as he spoke casually. "I could say the same to you Carter, going back to work tomorrow and all." John took a step closer as he examined her features. She looked tired; her eyes appeared dull and red. He smiled when Joss saw what he was doing and huffed.

"You really need to stop following me. In case you forgot, I've been taking care of myself for years."

"Well that mugger I dispatched would say otherwise." Her eyebrows shot up and he couldn't help the smirk.

"Very funny John" she said humorlessly. The man knew exactly what to say to get under her skin; but he also knew just the right thing to say to get her to smile. She appreciated the gesture but she knew it would take more than a joke that to ease her mind.

What Joss didn't know was that there had indeed been someone stalking her. He was planning to ambush and rob her near the fountain but a silent takedown from John foiled those plans. He was now tied up behind the tree and John would let Fusco take him in once he was sure Joss was on her way back home.

She allowed him to walk in stride with her as she continued her walk. It was quiet and Joss knew that John was waiting for her to say something when she was ready. She couldn't help the smile at his consideration.

With a sad sigh, she started. "Okay, I'm just having a problem believing all of this is happening."

John looked over at her. "What do you mean Carter?"

She shrugged her shoulders before continuing. "I'm talking about everything had that happened this last year, the fact that HR is finally gone, that I'm still alive and well, being promoted to Captain tomorrow. I can't help but ask if I really deserve any of this with all the bad that I've done."

Hearing her say this, John walked ahead before turning around and standing in her way. He was amazed at what he was hearing. "I can't think of anyone that deserves it more after the hell you've been through." He scowled when Joss didn't look up at him.

"I've killed people and I don't feel any remorse. I'm a terrible person." Finally she lifted her head, fighting back the emotions as she remembered her long battle. "I went after HR out of revenge. I did so many underhanded things that the precinct doesn't know, blackmail, murder, and obstructing crime scenes. I should be in prison."

John raised his hands to her face and lifted it to get a better look at her. He could see her fighting back tears. He knew that she had gone through so much and felt like a fool for not realizing what she had been up to until it was almost too late. Joss had to go through things that she shouldn't have had to go through alone. John thought that after the Stills incident, he had done a good job to be there for her for anything. Even with all his training, he had missed so many subtle hints that she was doing more than she let on. He had been suspicious by how accepting Joss had been after her demotion. Even when they sat down and talked, she always said that she was okay and things would eventually work out.

"John?" Her voice broke through his thoughts and John's heart sped up when he saw that she had laid her hands on top of his, enjoying his warmth and letting a ghost of a smile inch across her lips. "Are you going to tell me I'm wrong?"

It was his turn to smile. "In more ways than one." His expressions then turned serious almost instantly. "You put all these burdens on yourself because you wanted to take down HR on your own. It was that big heart that pulled me from that very dark place two and a half years ago." Without warning, John grabbed her hand and pulled Joss to his body, encircling her in a tight hug before continuing to speak with a lowered voice. "Joss, I almost lost you and that terrifies me. You think that you don't deserve anything because of what you did, but you are wrong. You were being a mother protecting her son after Tierney threatened him. You were being a cop that was righting a wrong. You are the kind of person that deserves to live compared to someone like me."

Joss shook her head. "That's not…" but was stopped when John put a finger over her lips.

"Just let me finish Joss. There has been something I wanted to say for a while now." She nodded her head and felt butterflies in her stomach from anticipation. "I know that I'm not exactly someone that holds merit when I said that, but it's true. You are someone this world can't afford to lose. I told Finch the same thing that time when you became a number and it hasn't changed for me." His eyes traveled to her lips briefly before returning to her beautiful doe eyes, seeing they were glistening. "Joss, if there is someone that doesn't deserve something; it's me being in the same space as you."

Joss tried to swallow the lump that had been forming in her throat before asking "Where is this coming from John?"

"I know that it's been a few months," he began, "since what happened between us in the morgue. For the first time in my life, I realized I wanted to be selfish with you. All my life, I've put other's needs over my own." John tightened his grip ever so slightly as he fought to find the words he had wanted to say for so long. "I let Jessica walk out of my life after she asked me to tell her to wait and I lost her because I kept quiet. The same thing almost happened with you and I don't think I would have been able to move on if that happened because…" He froze. John couldn't believe that for the first time in his life, he was hesitant because the next three words he wanted to say were something that he felt for Joss for a long time but his brain couldn't tell his lips to move.

As she stood in his arms, waiting for him to finish, Joss's eyes widened with the realization of what he was trying to say and she couldn't hold back the tears she was fighting back. She rested her head against his chest and listened to his quickening heartbeat. Joss couldn't help but love him because of his honesty. It was clear that he was having trouble with the words because it had been so long since he had felt those emotions and it was because of her. She pulled back with a smile and tears staining her cheeks. "John Reese speechless? You'll give a girl a big head" she joked to help him relax.

When he looked down at her, John saw the same love that he wanted to express directed back at him. She was silently telling him that it was okay that he couldn't say the words just yet, but she would gladly wait for him because she felt the same.

Feeling his heart swell with elation over her returning his feelings, John gave Joss a full smile, took her face delicately in his hands, and pressed his lips to her. Even in the middle of such a cold night, neither one noticed anything but the heat drawn from the other person's body. It was a light kiss, one that made a promise of things to come. When they broke apart, John spoke first before caressing her face again. "How about coming over to my place where we can continue this conversation someplace warmer and I cook you something to eat?"

Joss quickly eyed him. "Is that a line?" she asked with mock accusation. For the longest time, she had been curious as to what John would do on his downtime when he wasn't working the numbers.

John shook his head. "Just an invitation for a woman that has been a constant blessing in my life."

"Jeez John, you know exactly what a say to make a girl feel special, a first time invitation to your home and you cook too. I must have hit the jackpot." The smile on her face was beaming. She truly felt like she was his everything, that he wasn't just saying it to bed her unlike most men.

"Just you Joss." Of course he meant every word.

After pulling away, the two made their way towards the exit before John stopped them and moved the side. When Joss saw him touch his earwig, she was fearful that their night was ruined before anything could be started. John hung up the call shortly after and returned to her side. "New number?" she questioned, pleasantly surprised to see him shake his head.

"Just having Finch let Fusco know to make a pick-up" he explained vaguely, referring to the would-be robber still tied up behind the tree that Joss still hadn't known was there. "Our plans are still good." His full-blown smile told her that he wanted this as much as she did.

When John caught up, they continued walking. "Should I ask?" Giving him that stern interrogator stare that normally had criminals confessing within minutes. John, immune to her charms glare, shrugged it off before surprisingly pulling her close. Growing concern by being seen by bystanders, Joss's eyes quickly scanned the area and saw that it was deserted. She felt safe that Finch would have taken care of any footage of the two of them, now aware of the Machine that was behind all of the lenses watching them.

"Nope." John said simply. When they reached the exit, he directed her towards the direction of his apartment so they can enjoy this new shift their relationship in private.

* * *

Post A/N: So there has been a post of the cast list on IMDB that includes Taraji for Episode 6. If it turns out to be true, I'll pass. Apparently this time, she will be a ghost because the other person listed is a ghost hunter. I have almost no doubt that this will just end up being another Terra and instead of Jessica, it will be about Iris. No thanks. Again, thanks to SWWoman for the beta and everyone on the FB group for dealing with my novel size rants. I swear having a place to vent helps. Much love to everyone that continues to support not just me but other Careese writers as well. We are are drawing closer to the 2 year mark but we're still going, much to other's dismay;)


End file.
